Things you've never heard in the workplace...

I know nothing of the average office. Watercooler convos, gaining and losing clients, power suits, commision and bonuses are all foreign ideas to me. My office is a spacious 600 square feet, but I share my occupancy with 22 other bodies, all under the age of 9. I can safetly assume that my yearning for Friday is the same as yours, however the road traveled in getting there is filled with unexpected and downright ridicuous events that could only be that of an elementary school teacher.Here are some of the quotes I have heard from the past 2 weeks:

1) "Don't lick her hair!"

-coworker to boy who had just, well...licked someone's hair

2) "Excuse me fair lady, but have you seen Sir George Washington? Clearly I have time traveled to the future and he is nowhere to be found."

-one of my students to me during recess

3) "It just feels like there is charcoal in my butt"

- one of my students to me in response to the question "Are you feeling okay?"

4) "Dear A,

I hate your stinkin guts. I hope your marry the floor.

From, Z"

- one students to another on a note I caught them passing

5) "I had a bad day yesterday"-student

"Why is that?" -me

"Our car caught on fire when we were inside of it." -student (as nonchalantly as one could be)

Don't you wish your workplace was this entertaining?

Punk-y Brewskies

Something about changing fall colors, pumpkin scented candles and football-full weekends just makes beer taste better. I have previously told you what my favorite brews are, but the fall season deserves a list of it's own.

1) Dogfish Head Punkin Ale

Opposite of my husband, I've never been a huge Dogfish head fan. They are usually too dark, heavy or potent for my liking, but then came this little Punk. Hands down, the best pumpkin beer I've had. Be warned, it's very "pumpkiny", so the average light beer drinker may not be prepared. It smells like rich pumpkin pie and your tastebuds will literally have a dance party in your mouth. Look for these babies in 4 packs rather than 6 since their APV% is a bit higher. Nothing wrong with that... :)

2) Harpoon Octoberfest Beer

We found this gem amid a Harpoon mixed pack and have been in love ever since. Goes down light and smooth, but has the autumn feel in every sip. If most October beers are too intense for you, this is a great option. Plus, it's brewed in Boston where another more common yet equally awesome Sam Adams Octoberfest

3) Carolina Brewing Company's Oktoberfest

Gotta rev up my local brewery again, but it's hard not to when all their seasonals are so friggin tasty. Hit up their FREE beer tastings every Saturday from 12-2 and try it before the winter lager comes out!

What are your top Autumn Ales? How did you find them? Do share, there's always room for more faves!

Do you believe in Second Chances?

Sports fans love a story. A hero story, an underdog story, and this years' headliner: a comeback story.

Michael Vick has been making headlines since 1999 as the starting quarterback for Virginia Tech . He was so fast, so versatile, and so stinkin talented. Towards the end of his 6 years with the Atlanta Falcons, the news headlines weren't focused on his Pro Bowl appearances, but rather his legal troubles. Wild parties, drug speculations, and what became the huge Dog Fighting Scandal were making headlines everywhere. In 2007, he was indighted and served almost 2 years in prison. The guy who had one of the most promising careers in the game had flushed it all away.

What's worse? He had touched a nerve with a majority of Americans who couldn't comprehend someone fostering such a cruel practice to innocent dogs. The Hokie faithful had a hard time swallowing this, as his mark on their beloved school was forever marred. My own husband was forced to put his authentic 2000 Sugar Bowl Vick jersey in the far back of the closet, thinking it could never be worn again.In summer of 2009, rumors of Vick returning to the NFL became a reality when the Eagles signed him to a 1 year contract. Seemingly everyone, including within households is split as to whether they are against or behind Vick returning to the game. Making it even harder is his incredible performance as the Eagles starter this season. That wasn't the game plan, but fate(?) has put him in that position. Today he suffered a rib injury, but my guess is that this new Vick shouldn't be counted out this season.

My inspiration for the post and the reason that I am a converted Vick supporter is because of the interview I saw today between Vick and his former Falcons coach Jim Mora. It debuted on the NFL Network this morning and it is a MUST see. What you see is only a snipet of the 10 minutes that aired, and 50 minute exchange which was candid, heart-warming, and inspirational. Honestly, I felt a little uncomfortable watching it because I felt it was such a personal exchange. I hope he can serve as a role model for people who commit themselves to turning their life around. Despite what this guy has admittedly done, I am rooting for him...are you?

Shorter days, expanding asses...thanks DVR

In a previous post, I told you many of the reasons I adore this changing season. But I blasphemously neglected to mention one of my most favorite fall treats: GOOD TV! When I say "good" TV, I'm not talking about reality shows. Americas Biggest So You Think You Have Talent with the Stars is just not my cup o' tea. I'm talking about actors playing characters to make you laugh, cry, and watch develop over seasons, and absolutely no panel of judges.

Now, my TV watching until 2006 was slim to none. Other than Seinfeld re-runs I literally could not have told you anything that came on the tube. Things certainly changed when I got a full-time job. Between teaching or at least being at school between 8-12 hours/day, working out 4-5 times/week and working 2 different part-time jobs 1-2 times/week, I am SPENT when I get home. I take care of Housekeeping-type things the minute I get home because once I shower and sit down, it's over for me. I'm not moving unless there is a glass of wine or unnecessary salty snack I need to reach across the coffee table. DVR has transformed my view of TV and I'm not quite sure I could survive without at least 20 minutes of "wind-down" time each night.

The Top 5 Shows I am excited about returning this year are:

1) How I met your Mother- Mondays at 8 on CBS

Love the nightly bar conversations filled with flashbacks and flashforwards. Of course I'm a "Lilly" since she's a teacher and the married one of the group. Matt is nothing like Marshall, but I like to think our marriage is as happy as adorable as theirs. Oh, and did I mention THE Neil Patrick Harris as eternally single Barney; although I'm 99% sure he'll end up with Robin for good. And then there are videos thrown into a regular episode like this one:

2) Modern Family- Wednesdays at 9 on ABC

Everything a show needs to be successful. A beautiful, relatable family who is far from perfect yet so strong. Since this show has risen to fame, I have had many people tell me that Matt reminds them of dad Phil Dunphy. This made me very nervous, but he is flattered.

3) Cougar Town- Wednesdays at 9:30 on ABC

I was never a huge Friends fan, mainly because I was a few too many years shy of living on my own to really understand young adulthood. Coutney Cox in this show however grabs my attention with her ridiculous circle of friends (including her ex husband) and their mutual love of full glasses of wine...no matter what time of the day it is.

4) The Office- Thursdays at 9 on NBC

So, I'm a bit nervous that this show has been steadily on the decline any may hit rock bottom this year, but I still love it. Jim, Pam, Michael, Dwight...The characters are just the greatest! Andy has to be the best add-on character; proof of moments like this:

5) Saturday Night Live- Saturdays at 11:30 on NBC

Sure it has it's up and down seasons, but after 36 years it is still on the air. That's saying something...

What shows are you anxious to see this year?

Top shows I will miss this fall are:

1) LOST-For many of you, all you had to do was read the title and you understood. For the rest of you, maybe you haven't committed to one of the greatest tv series of all time. This is the opposite of reality tv because it makes you think and question everything. Not just about the characters, but about our own lives and purpose on this Earth. Yea, it's that deep, and it was that good.

2) Dexter-not because it's over, but because we no longer have Showtime. Greatest serial killer of the series removed, dead wife, 3 inherited children, and Julia Stiles on the set is going to make for an amazing season. We'll reconvene when the season dvd is released Dex :(

3) The Wire- Honestly, I am only in the midst of season 1 of the 6 and I'm already sold. Matt and I watch it on DirecTV's the 101 Network, reason #457 TWC can't hold a candle to DirecTV. I was hesitant to get into this show for years because I thought I couldn't handle it. It deals with real issues of innercity Baltimore and the police department who patrols it. It shows how drugs, violence, culture, and poverty take a toll on it's adults and ruin children's futures before they have a chance to make one. It's heart wrenching and sometimes hard to watch. I can't believe how the writers make me root for some of these criminals. It's friggin good.

Okay, out of all the tv shows come and gone, what would you give anything to see come back?

Waiting for Superman

To say I am excited for "Waiting for Superman" is a gross understatement. Teaching is my life. Sure, I love football, booze, my friends and family, and a good bargain, but teaching is what I was born to do. Unfortunately my passion has been in trouble for some time and the new documentary that opened in NY and LA this week brings those issues to the forefront.

If you are a teacher, you MUST see this. Find that you are not alone and that others share your struggles and frustrations. See that most kids despite the pressures you place on yourself see only the compassion and drive that encouraged you to become a teacher in the first place.

If you are NOT a teacher, then you may be unfamilar with the crisis our American public schools are facing. I totally understand. But one day it WILL matter to you. When your own children are directly impacted by the success or failure of their schools you will care, and hopefully you will do something.

I'll let the trailer speak for itself now...

NOT going Gaga for Gaga...

As you may or may not know, I work part-time at the RBC Center in the merchandise department. Basically it means that I sell overpriced t-shirts and other crap people don't really need in the Carolina Hurricanes team store.

90% of the time I work strictly hockey games, but part of my job requires I work with some outside vendors occasionally for concerts, comedy shows, and other forms of entertainment. Although these shows are long hours, typically going into the early hours of the next morning, I have certainly seen my share of cool events for free. Stevie Wonder, the ACC tournament, Kid Rock, Van Halen, and most recently Lady Gaga.

I knew she was weird. I knew she had about 40 costume changes. I knew she was the self proclaimed "Queen of the Gays (and trannies, and anything else included in that category). So yes, I was prepared for working a unique and different show.

What I was not prepared for was this:

1) Children at the show. Not teenagers, but KIDS. On a schoolnight mind you. Do you think those kids made it to school the next day? Not with a hungover mommy who is desperately trying to be her daughter's "best friend". That really should be the ultimate goal as a parent, huh?

2) T-shirts with the f-dash-dash word on them in child sizes ONLY

3) An ungodly amount of glitter

4) Women twice my age wearing stuff so short I'm pretty sure I could see the babymaker...

5) and this guy, but worse --->

Seriously!? A gay Jesus? But add blood all over his face and other than shoes, no clothing other than a thong. The guy didn't even watch the concert, he spent the whole show running around the concourse waiting for people to ogle him and snap his picture or pose with him. I'm sorry, but I believe that even in 2010 there is a line; and this guy crossed it. Hey, his afterlife destination is not my decision, but I'm betting he and Lucifer will become real tight.

I am forever scarred...

Anyone need a laugh? Just ask Peyton Manning...

Peyton Manning is no joke. He is a living legend on the football field and unlike the 2010 Brett Favre, has come out swinging already this season. Although his game is no laughing matter, him on Saturday Night Live is.

Now I know this clip was from a couple years ago but I'm easily amused right now. I could easily fall asleep, but I'm doing any and everything to avoid a nap or else I'll be up all night. Enjoy!

Running on Empty

Hello world,

How much do I suck as a blogger? But I have an excuse(s)...

1) I tracked back in last Monday...busy from wakeup-5pm

2) I worked my part-time jobs Wednesday and Friday night. That's right people, 12 hour days.

3) We woke up before the sun Saturday morning, drove up and back to Blackburg for a Hokies win (yay) and got back around 1 am

4) Couldn't sleep in Sunday and had to miss NFL Sunday to work 2pm-1am at the Lady Gaga show at the RBC Center. More on that later but for now I'll just say there was a fake suicide, live masturbation, and Jesus himself appeared in the crowd.
5) Back to work this morning...

I had 2 Pepsi Maxes today and felt nothing...this girl needs some rest.

Holy Babies!

Let's play a numbers game, shall we?

NINE people I speak to regularly have had/will have babies this year. FIVE in the month of September alone. Despite the fact that I still need to be reminded to put away my laundry, all of a sudden I feel like a grownup. Where the H-E-double hockey-sticks has time gone? The people I used to act incredibly irresponsible with are now solely responsible for raising another human being and to be honest- it scares me a bit.

Ok, so the picture is a bit creepy, but you get the idea: lots of babies and all...anyways,

I'm starting to feel guilt that I am not prepared to take that leap. Granted, my heart melts the instant I see a newborn and the look on the dad's face makes me so excited to picture Matt one day in that role.

However, I'm not sure I "do" babies. 8 yr olds, yes. They can talk, take sarcasm, go to the bathroom on their own...these are things I need to have a daily relationship with a child. Heck, I'd even venture to say I can make the ages of 4-14 my b**ch (Matt gets to take the reins when their attitude overtakes their soul), but 0-3 makes me feel...well, selfish because I know I'm not ready to give up working full time or have someone relying on me the way a baby must.

People say, if you wait for the perfect time, you'll never have kids. While this may be true, I'm also a believer in gut feelings. With almost every big decision I've had to make, I go with my gut instinct and I usually come out on top. Right now my gut is telling me to hurry home and try the new New Belgium Hoptober...

The whites are away until May...

Here lies my summer wardrobe, ready to be stowed away and forgotten until white is socially appropriate. Now that Labor Day has passed I can no longer sport white dresses, skirts, shorts, pants, shoes, or purses. Along with that goes nautical and springy flower prints.

Sigh...bring on socks, muted autumn hues, and layering:(