Things you've never heard in the workplace...

I know nothing of the average office. Watercooler convos, gaining and losing clients, power suits, commision and bonuses are all foreign ideas to me. My office is a spacious 600 square feet, but I share my occupancy with 22 other bodies, all under the age of 9. I can safetly assume that my yearning for Friday is the same as yours, however the road traveled in getting there is filled with unexpected and downright ridicuous events that could only be that of an elementary school teacher.Here are some of the quotes I have heard from the past 2 weeks:

1) "Don't lick her hair!"

-coworker to boy who had just, well...licked someone's hair

2) "Excuse me fair lady, but have you seen Sir George Washington? Clearly I have time traveled to the future and he is nowhere to be found."

-one of my students to me during recess

3) "It just feels like there is charcoal in my butt"

- one of my students to me in response to the question "Are you feeling okay?"

4) "Dear A,

I hate your stinkin guts. I hope your marry the floor.

From, Z"

- one students to another on a note I caught them passing

5) "I had a bad day yesterday"-student

"Why is that?" -me

"Our car caught on fire when we were inside of it." -student (as nonchalantly as one could be)

Don't you wish your workplace was this entertaining?

Waiting for Superman

To say I am excited for "Waiting for Superman" is a gross understatement. Teaching is my life. Sure, I love football, booze, my friends and family, and a good bargain, but teaching is what I was born to do. Unfortunately my passion has been in trouble for some time and the new documentary that opened in NY and LA this week brings those issues to the forefront.

If you are a teacher, you MUST see this. Find that you are not alone and that others share your struggles and frustrations. See that most kids despite the pressures you place on yourself see only the compassion and drive that encouraged you to become a teacher in the first place.

If you are NOT a teacher, then you may be unfamilar with the crisis our American public schools are facing. I totally understand. But one day it WILL matter to you. When your own children are directly impacted by the success or failure of their schools you will care, and hopefully you will do something.

I'll let the trailer speak for itself now...

Tenure, babaaaaay!

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Today is the last day of my FOURTH year of teaching. You must think I'm excited because of the big "guaranteed" raise I should be getting. Well, no- the state isn't giving me for the 2nd year in a row. I am however excited about gaining tenure! What does that mean? Well, nothing really; except I'll be very hard to fire.

While looking through an old photo book yesterday, I came across my ID badge from my first year of teaching. Gosh, time really flies. I was single (well, not married anyways), living in a great townhouse in downtown Wilmington, and rarely cooked an actual meal. My underprivileged kids were my whole being and I stayed at school until at least 6 nightly.

I still have passion for what I do, but I envy the girl who could dedicate every part of her to her class. My goal is to remain an open-minded, caring, and optimistic teacher. To increase my level of patience, and decrease the distractions I allow the outside world to have in my classroom. I have a whopping 8 days to prepare for next school year, so here's hoping...

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

Look at my gift card plant! Teachers are often under appreciated, but today was not one of those days. Parents in my class pulled together money and purchased an assortment of gift cards to thank me for a great school year. Like, really nice gift cards y'all! Target, Belk, Chili's, Lowe's Grocery and Shoe Dept. Thank God cause due to our recent financial woes, I haven't gone shopping in ages. Now I can spent a day guilt free thanks to some amazing parents:)

Meetin and Greetin

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Meet & Greet for next year happened tonight, so I get to enjoy a week of juggling issues of two classes. I spent 90 minutes smiling, giving overexcited and mobile children death glares to get off my furniture, and assuring parents I will be sure to differentiate for their "AG" child.

Basically, I am already overwhelmed. I haven't even closed out the year with my current class and I already have multiple issues with a new group! My patience is already down to 10% due to how children behave the last couple weeks of school and the thought of going until August before a break gives me heart palpitations.

July 4th weekend needs to rejuvenate this gal in a serious way.

Don't get paid enough for this shizz

Friday, June 18th, 2010

Just a sampling of the end of the year paperwork I am working through this week.

Good thing about year round schools: 3

weeks off every 9 weeks.

Bad thing: Closing out one school year while simultaneously preparing for another.

The kids are CRAZY, ready to go on to 4th grade. My coworkers are swamped and miscommunication has become an expectation. Good lord I hate the last 10 days of school!

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

I have a fantastic view if I am working at my desk, where I can see everyone who enters and exits our school. When I saw this beauty, I frantically reached for my phone to snap this parent on her way to pick up her child from after school care today. Unfortunately, you cannot see the severity of this situation. Miss. Thang has NO shoes, cut off jean shorts, a baby doll shirt that her beer gut happily spilled out of, and was smoking the s**t out of her cigarette.

Of course, she left 10 minutes later with not one, but 3 children. Super.