Things you've never heard in the workplace...

I know nothing of the average office. Watercooler convos, gaining and losing clients, power suits, commision and bonuses are all foreign ideas to me. My office is a spacious 600 square feet, but I share my occupancy with 22 other bodies, all under the age of 9. I can safetly assume that my yearning for Friday is the same as yours, however the road traveled in getting there is filled with unexpected and downright ridicuous events that could only be that of an elementary school teacher.Here are some of the quotes I have heard from the past 2 weeks:

1) "Don't lick her hair!"

-coworker to boy who had just, well...licked someone's hair

2) "Excuse me fair lady, but have you seen Sir George Washington? Clearly I have time traveled to the future and he is nowhere to be found."

-one of my students to me during recess

3) "It just feels like there is charcoal in my butt"

- one of my students to me in response to the question "Are you feeling okay?"

4) "Dear A,

I hate your stinkin guts. I hope your marry the floor.

From, Z"

- one students to another on a note I caught them passing

5) "I had a bad day yesterday"-student

"Why is that?" -me

"Our car caught on fire when we were inside of it." -student (as nonchalantly as one could be)

Don't you wish your workplace was this entertaining?